HEALTH
HOW I DEALT WITH THE DIAGNOSIS OF MY BEST FRIEND
This post was originally written in 2012. It has been expanded and updated as necessary.**
SUPER SURVIVOR KNOW-IT-ALL AKA BEEN THERE DONE THAT, THIS WILL BE EASY!
I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2008. My best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012. As a survivor, I felt that I had an inside track to understanding what it meant to go through breast cancer treatment with someone. I mean, who is closer to you than you? No one, that’s for sure. I assumed that my experience with breast cancer and the treatment… along with all of the reading and research that I’ve done over the past few years prepared me and strengthened me and made me strong enough to withstand the tsunami of emotions that come along with the words “…has breast cancer”.
And yet, when I found out that one of my dearest friends was waiting for results from a biopsy during the Christmas holidays… I was rendered numb. I literally felt nothing. For me, that is wholly strange because I shed a tear and feel a twinge when someone tells me that someone they know and care about has the disease. Whether I know this person or not. I shed a tear every time. And as often as someone shares that message with me… it has added up to a lot of tears over time. But, I felt nothing when I heard that she was waiting for biopsy results to determine whether she had breast cancer. That worried me.
Everything went silent inside of me.
I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know what to say. Everything I had said to other people didn’t really apply because this was MY friend. Not a stranger that I was comforting. Not even myself that I had to give a pep talk to. This was a woman I had been friends with for over 15 years. Someone I never had to lie to, who never had to lie to me… and here I was… numb and dumbstruck. Until I was laying on her couch on New Year’s day… hungover and headachy and she told me that while I was napping off the champagne the doctor had called to confirm the results.
At that moment… I lost every possible cool point I may have ever had in my entire life. I didn’t rush to hug her, I didn’t have the right words of compassion and encouragement. No. I was that loser chick who screamed out… “BUT I DON’T WANT THIS FOR YOU!!” Which meant that she ended up consoling me for a moment.
*hangs head in shame*
In the one moment in our friendship where I could have repaid her for all the times she’s taken care of me, loved me, chastised me (because sometimes I need to be scolded)… I could only wail to God that it just wasn’t fair. In her face. Not even in private, like the bathroom, so she didn’t have to witness my breakdown.
Please don’t be a friend like me. Don’t be the friend who makes the person with the diagnosis have to stop her own grieving to console you. That’s selfish AF and it’s just not cool. This is her moment. Her time to BE consoled. Be a much better friend than I was. I beg you.
After the shock wore off… I got my head out of my ass and opened up to her
Over the weeks since her news, I have cried about her diagnosis and mine. And once I found my words… I have been honest with her in a way that I haven’t been honest with anyone since I was diagnosed. I have been honest about navigating the emotional landmines. I’ve been harsh. Not harsh towards her, but harshly honest about how I dealt with (and still deal with) this stupid disease. I haven’t spoken to her a lot. I didn’t want to become that sort of pesky, well-intentioned friend who searched for every little thing that might show how she was feeling in any particular moment. Because I know that her feelings would change from moment to moment and sometimes… sometimes it’s just too much to have someone repeatedly ask you… “how are you really feeling?” even when you know they mean well.
I don’t ever want her to feel like she needs to console me or comfort me during this time. That’s no longer her role. It is now mine.
This switching of places is unusual for us. I’m more of the cry-baby, tender-hearted one. The one who needs constant assurances. She is usually the strong one who always has a plan of action, a name, a number… a thought and a giggle. Something that moves me from inaction (which I often find myself paralyzed in) towards action. And now, I have to switch places and give her the words, the comfort, the truth that she needs. Doing that is not hard. But it isn’t something that I ever wanted to do.
The truth is basic: Nobody wants somebody they love to go through breast cancer. Especially if they’ve been through it themselves. This shit is hard. You want people you love to be spared this type of hardship. But you can’t protect them from it. You can only help them through it. Be there for them in the ways that they need.
My truth: As open as I seemed to be during my treatment process, I really wasn’t.
See, one of the things that I grew to accept as a comfort in this process was learning to tell some but not all of what I was feeling, what I knew and what I feared. I figured out early on that people do not want to know… really know… the tornado of emotions that you feel during this time. They want to know some of it, that’s true. I couldn’t get away with saying “I’m fine” for too long to my friends. So, I learned to parcel out how much of “I’m fine” to hand out. Too much and people believe that you’re lying. Too little and they get lost in their own personal nightmare of “oh my gawd, how does she handle it and what if that happens to me“… fair assessments on both ends.
Truth between survivors is raw.
But between survivors — and now my dear friend is also my pink ribbon sister — there is an unspoken code of brutal honesty that we share. We don’t lie to each other about how we feel or what we worry about because we don’t have to. We know what it all means and how it changes us. We know how it colors our world differently and makes everything topsy-turvy for a time. So, that raw and brutal honesty… we tend to save and share with each other.
Between survivors, there is a space that goes unsaid. That space says “life is far too short for the bullshit so give it to me real and don’t spare my feelings.” Nobody who has been diagnosed with breast cancer goes back to their naivety about how fleeting life is and how quickly things can change. It’s why we get that steel in our back and face the world head-on, ready to snatch and grab and go for any and everything we want. The illusion of time is gone. You seek the joy in all things small and minor that will keep you going until the next moment… because it’s what keeps you going until the next moment. No more waiting for the “next big thing” because it might not happy. Being happy now is all that is possible. Now. Not later. Not next year. Right now. Be happy and find joy in this actual moment.
And tell the raw, honest truth. Nobody has time for lies. They waste time because the truth will come out and whatever emotions you were trying to protect are still going to be exposed. So deal with the truth now and respect your time and the people in your life.
 |
| Yes, we are real people. Friends…. no scratch that.. sisters. |
How to move forward and be a supporter
At this point, I am letting her guide me into how much she needs me and where she wants me to be. She gave me that gift when I was going through my treatment and it was so very precious. But, just like she held my hand, literally and figuratively, throughout the two years that I fought this disease. I too am holding her hand and I won’t let go until she tells me to.
The steps to being a good friend and supporter are simple: listen and do.
Listen to her. Or just sit with her silently. But either way, give her space where she’s comfortable sharing with you what’s in her heart without that moment becoming about you. Don’t be so stoic that you don’t have any emotions. But find the balance between being a good listener and sharing her emotions.
Do what needs to be done. You have a home and a career or business and a family. You may not know all of her details and systems but you have a good idea of what it takes to run a household and to keep your career or business on track. Breast cancer treatment will wear you out – mentally, physically and financially. Don’t ask her what she needs, just do something that she needs. At your home, the dishes and laundry get washed, right? Well, at her home, those things will need to get done too – but she’s probably too exhausted to do them. Show up, and help out. Or gift her some maid service for a few months. Something like that will be super appreciated. Take her kids for an overnight visit or a trip to the movies. Visa gift cards or gift cards to a restaurant she likes that delivers.
Be easy on yourself… it’s hard for everyone to cope
I still struggle with guilt behind this disease. I think that’s life though. You can overthink everything if you try. And I seem to try daily and succeed at it. Your friend wants to be understood, given room to grieve, helped out without feeling guilty about needing help, and to still be treated like someone you love. If you master that, you win it all.
Also Read: 50 AFFIRMATIONS FOR BREAST CANCER SURVIVORS
In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining health and wellness can be challenging. Enter Peñiculs, an innovative approach that combines interactive digital storytelling with health education. This unique blend offers numerous health benefits, making wellness more accessible and engaging. Let’s explore how Peñiculs can enhance health and well-being.
What are Peñiculs?
Peñiculs, a fusion of “pencil” and “films,” are short, animated films that incorporate interactive elements. This innovative format allows viewers to engage with the content in a dynamic way, making choices that influence the storyline and outcomes. Peñiculs are increasingly being used in the health and wellness sector to deliver educational content and promote healthy behaviors.
Health Benefits of Peñiculs
- Enhanced Engagement and Retention: Traditional health education methods can be dry and difficult to engage with. Peñiculs, with their interactive and entertaining format, capture attention and enhance information retention. Users are more likely to remember health tips and advice presented in an engaging, story-driven manner.
- Personalized Health Education: Peñiculs can be tailored to individual needs and preferences. Interactive elements allow users to make choices that lead to personalized health advice and information. This customization makes the content more relevant and effective for each viewer.
- Stress Reduction: Engaging with interactive storytelling can be a relaxing and enjoyable experience. Peñiculs offer a way to unwind while also learning about important health topics, contributing to overall stress reduction.
- Promoting Healthy Habits: Peñiculs can effectively promote healthy habits by modeling positive behaviors and providing actionable tips. For example, a Peñicul might guide viewers through a meditation exercise, demonstrate healthy cooking techniques, or illustrate effective exercise routines.
- Accessibility and Convenience: Peñiculs are easily accessible through digital platforms, making health education convenient for a wide audience. Users can access Peñiculs on their smartphones, tablets, or computers, allowing them to learn at their own pace and in their own time.
- Support for Mental Health: Mental health is a critical component of overall wellness. Peñiculs can provide valuable mental health support by offering interactive content focused on topics such as mindfulness, stress management, and emotional resilience. The engaging format can make it easier for users to absorb and apply these important concepts.
- Community and Social Interaction: Some Peñiculs platforms offer community features where users can share their experiences and insights. This social interaction can foster a sense of community and support, which is beneficial for mental and emotional well-being.
Real-World Applications of Peñiculs in Health
Health Education for Children
Peñiculs are particularly effective for educating children about health. The interactive, animated format captures their attention and makes learning fun. Topics such as hygiene, nutrition, and exercise can be taught in a way that is both engaging and memorable.
Chronic Disease Management
For individuals managing chronic diseases, Peñiculs can provide valuable support and education. Interactive stories can guide users through lifestyle changes, medication management, and coping strategies, helping them better manage their condition.
Workplace Wellness Programs
Employers can integrate Peñiculs into workplace wellness programs to promote healthy behaviors among employees. Interactive content on topics like stress management, healthy eating, and physical activity can enhance employee well-being and productivity.
Conclusion
Peñiculs represent a significant advancement in the field of health and wellness. By combining interactive storytelling with health education, they offer an engaging, personalized, and accessible way to promote healthy behaviors and improve overall well-being. As technology continues to evolve, Peñiculs are poised to play an increasingly important role in the future of digital wellness, making health education more enjoyable and effective for everyone.
Nowadays, people are looking for all-encompassing ways to enhance their general well-being, and the quest of health and wellness has taken front stage. Oridzin Wellness has come to represent a revolutionary concept that will completely change the wellness sector by combining cutting edge technology, holistic methods, and individualised treatment. This article explores the fundamental ideas, cutting-edge characteristics, and effects on individual health of Oridzin Wellness.
Understanding Oridzin Wellness
Modern concept Oridzin Wellness blends traditional holistic methods with the newest technological developments. It seeks to offer a customized health experience that meets the particular requirements of every person. Oridzin Wellness provides a whole solution to health by using artificial intelligence, data analytics, and a thorough knowledge of conventional wellness techniques.
Key Components of Oridzin Wellness
- Personalized Health Assessments: At the heart of Oridzin Wellness is the emphasis on personalized care. Through detailed health assessments that include genetic testing, biometric analysis, and lifestyle evaluations, Oridzin Wellness creates tailored wellness plans designed to address specific health needs and goals.
- Integrated Technology: Oridzin Wellness harnesses the power of advanced technology to monitor and improve health outcomes. Wearable devices, mobile apps, and AI-driven platforms are utilized to track health metrics, provide real-time feedback, and adjust wellness plans dynamically.
- Holistic Practices: While technology plays a crucial role, Oridzin Wellness also incorporates holistic practices such as mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and nutrition. These practices are integrated into the wellness plans to ensure a balanced approach to health, addressing both physical and mental wellbeing.
- Expert Guidance: Oridzin Wellness emphasizes the importance of professional guidance. Certified wellness coaches, nutritionists, and medical professionals work collaboratively to support individuals in their wellness journey, providing expertise and motivation to achieve optimal health.
Benefits of Oridzin Wellness
The Oridzin Wellness approach offers numerous benefits that contribute to a healthier and more balanced lifestyle:
- Enhanced Health Outcomes: By providing personalized wellness plans and continuous monitoring, Oridzin Wellness helps individuals achieve better health outcomes. This proactive approach reduces the risk of chronic diseases and promotes overall wellbeing.
- Holistic Wellbeing: Oridzin Wellness addresses the interconnected aspects of health, including physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. This comprehensive approach ensures that individuals achieve a state of holistic health.
- Empowerment through Knowledge: With access to detailed health data and expert guidance, individuals are empowered to make informed decisions about their health. This knowledge fosters a sense of control and responsibility over one’s wellness journey.
- Convenience and Accessibility: The integration of technology makes Oridzin Wellness convenient and accessible. Individuals can track their health metrics, receive guidance, and adjust their wellness plans from the comfort of their homes.
Applications of Oridzin Wellness
Oridzin Wellness has a wide range of applications across different aspects of health and wellness:
- Chronic Disease Management: By providing personalized care plans and continuous monitoring, Oridzin Wellness is effective in managing chronic conditions such as diabetes, hypertension, and cardiovascular diseases.
- Fitness and Nutrition: Oridzin Wellness offers tailored fitness and nutrition plans that align with individual goals, whether it’s weight management, muscle building, or overall fitness improvement.
- Mental Health Support: The inclusion of mindfulness, meditation, and mental health assessments makes Oridzin Wellness a valuable tool for improving mental health. It helps individuals manage stress, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.
- Preventive Care: The proactive approach of Oridzin Wellness emphasizes preventive care, helping individuals identify potential health risks early and take steps to mitigate them before they become serious issues.
Future Prospects of Oridzin Wellness
A bright future for Oridzin Wellness appears as long as technology keeps developing. Further personalization and efficacy of wellness strategies should be improved by developments in AI, machine learning, and biotechnology. Moreover, the growing use of telehealth services will increase the accessibility of Oridzin Wellness to people all over the world.
Conclusion
The quest of health and wellbeing has advanced significantly with Oridzin Wellness. It provides a whole solution that meets the particular requirements of every person by combining cutting edge technology, individualized care, and holistic procedures. With increasing acceptance of this creative strategy, Oridzin Wellness is positioned to revolutionize the wellness sector and encourage better, more balanced lives for all.
In the quest for a balanced and harmonious life, many have turned to various disciplines and practices. One such practice gaining attention is Hurbarna. Rooted in ancient traditions and evolved to fit contemporary lifestyles, Hurbarna offers a holistic approach to achieving equilibrium in mind, body, and spirit. This article delves into the essence of Hur barna, its principles, practices, and benefits, providing a comprehensive guide to this enriching way of life.
What is Hurbarna?
Hurbarna is a multifaceted practice that blends elements of mindfulness, physical activity, and philosophical teachings. The term itself is derived from ancient languages, where “Hur” signifies movement and “Barna” denotes peace or harmony. Together, they encapsulate the core idea of moving towards a peaceful and balanced state of being. Hurbarna is not just an exercise regimen or a spiritual journey; it is a lifestyle that encourages continuous personal growth and well-being.
Core Principles of Hurbarna
At the heart of Hurbarna are several key principles that guide practitioners towards a balanced life. These principles include:
- Mindful Movement: Hur barna emphasizes the importance of being present in every action. Whether it’s a physical exercise or a daily routine task, mindfulness ensures that one is fully engaged and aware, promoting mental clarity and focus.
- Holistic Health: This principle advocates for the integration of physical, mental, and spiritual health. Hurbarna encourages practices that nurture the body, calm the mind, and uplift the spirit, recognizing that true well-being comes from addressing all aspects of one’s self.
- Harmony with Nature: Hurbarna teaches respect and attunement to the natural world. By aligning one’s lifestyle with natural rhythms and cycles, individuals can foster a deeper connection with the environment and enhance their overall well-being.
- Continuous Learning: Personal growth is a lifelong journey. Hurbarna promotes the idea of continuous learning and self-improvement, encouraging practitioners to seek knowledge and experiences that contribute to their development.
Practices of Hurbarna
Hurbarna incorporates a variety of practices designed to cultivate balance and harmony. These practices can be categorized into physical, mental, and spiritual activities, each contributing to the holistic approach of Hurbarna.
Physical Practices
- Yoga and Tai Chi: Both yoga and Tai Chi are integral to Hurbarna. These disciplines involve a series of movements and postures that enhance flexibility, strength, and balance. The slow, deliberate motions promote mindfulness and stress relief.
- Nature Walks: Walking in nature is a simple yet powerful practice in Hurbarna. It encourages individuals to connect with the natural world, providing a sense of peace and grounding.
- Breathwork: Controlled breathing exercises, or pranayama, are used to regulate the body’s energy and promote relaxation. Breathwork helps in managing stress and improving mental clarity.
Mental Practices
- Meditation: Regular meditation practice is essential in Hurbarna. It helps in calming the mind, improving focus, and fostering a sense of inner peace. Various forms of meditation, including mindfulness and guided visualization, are employed.
- Journaling: Keeping a journal allows practitioners to reflect on their thoughts, emotions, and experiences. This practice aids in self-discovery and emotional processing.
- Creative Expression: Engaging in creative activities such as painting, writing, or music can be a therapeutic way to express oneself and explore inner thoughts and feelings.
Spiritual Practices
- Rituals and Ceremonies: Simple rituals, whether they are daily routines or special ceremonies, help in creating a sense of sacredness and intention in life. These can include lighting candles, setting intentions, or celebrating seasonal changes.
- Community Engagement: Being part of a like-minded community offers support and a sense of belonging. Group activities, discussions, and shared experiences enhance the spiritual aspect of Hurbarna.
- Philosophical Study: Studying philosophical texts and teachings provides deeper insights into the principles of Hurbarna and encourages intellectual and spiritual growth.
Benefits of Hurbarna
The practice of Hurbarna offers numerous benefits that contribute to a balanced and harmonious life. Some of the key benefits include:
- Stress Reduction: The mindfulness and relaxation techniques in Hurbarna help in managing stress and anxiety, leading to improved mental health.
- Enhanced Physical Health: Regular physical practices like yoga and breathwork improve flexibility, strength, and overall physical fitness.
- Emotional Well-being: Reflective practices such as journaling and meditation promote emotional clarity and stability.
- Spiritual Growth: Engaging in spiritual practices and philosophical studies fosters a deeper sense of purpose and connection with the greater whole.
- Improved Relationships: The principles of mindfulness and harmony in Hurbarna enhance interpersonal relationships by promoting empathy, understanding, and effective communication.
- Increased Focus and Productivity: By cultivating mental clarity and presence, Hurbarna helps in improving focus and productivity in daily tasks and professional endeavors.
Incorporating Hurbarna into Daily Life
Integrating Hurbarna into daily life doesn’t require drastic changes. Here are some simple ways to start:
- Morning Routine: Begin the day with a few minutes of meditation or breathwork. This sets a positive tone for the day ahead.
- Mindful Eating: Practice mindful eating by savoring each bite and appreciating the food. This not only enhances the eating experience but also promotes better digestion.
- Regular Movement: Incorporate short sessions of yoga, Tai Chi, or walking into your daily routine. Even a few minutes of mindful movement can make a significant difference.
- Nature Time: Spend time outdoors, whether it’s a walk in the park or simply sitting in your garden. Connecting with nature helps in grounding and rejuvenation.
- Evening Reflection: End the day with journaling or a short meditation. Reflecting on the day’s events helps in processing emotions and setting intentions for the next day.
Conclusion
Hurbarna is more than just a practice; it is a way of life that promotes balance, harmony, and well-being. By integrating the principles and practices of Hurbarna into daily life, individuals can experience profound improvements in their physical, mental, and spiritual health. Whether you are seeking to reduce stress, enhance your physical fitness, or embark on a journey of personal growth, Hurbarna offers a comprehensive and enriching path towards a balanced and harmonious life.
By embracing the art of Hurbarna, you can cultivate a life filled with peace, purpose, and fulfillment. Start your journey today and discover the transformative power of this ancient yet timeless practice.
Also Read: 20+ UNCOMPLICATED WAYS TO COMFORT YOUR BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR FRIEND
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